Is it possible you’re just not the community-minded person you think you are?

my take on community, convenience and the Black diaspora.

Jun 15, 2025

Hello! I’m slowly emerging from hibernation that I’ve been in over the last 2.5-ish months and to be transparent, I had a little confidence dip regarding this platform. Sometimes I do wonder if my commitment to being open about my journey building this platform will come back and bite me because I don’t perceive anyone else who is building to have as many downs as I have. However, as I continue to navigate that I’m still determined to do so here’s my first letter in a while.

There are many newsletters, articles, TikToks, Reels, posts etc. on the state of community in our current society, particularly post-lockdown. I’ve read and listened to many of these, and I’ve had many conversations with friends about this topic too. One of the main themes is the dichotomy between community and convenience. I’ve had some recent experiences (positive and negative) that have made me sit back and reflect on what community looks like for me personally and for those of us in the Black diaspora particularly as someone who is building “[A] space and place for conversation and community between and across the Nigerian and Black diaspora.”

community
[ kuh-myoo-ni-tee ]
noun
plural communities.
a social group of any size whose members reside in a specific locality, share government, and often have a common cultural and historical heritage.
a social, religious, occupational, or other group sharing common characteristics or interests and perceived or perceiving itself as distinct in some respect from the larger society within which it exists: the community of scholars;

Then

When referring to the Black Diaspora, people often refer to first-generation immigrants (the first to be born in that country) but given that the term diaspora actually has a broader definition, I’ve been thinking about how our parents are often left out of the conversation, and yet it is often their generation that we look back on and envy their sense of community.

I consider our parents’ generation to have two distinct features:

Necessity. They formed community because they were in a foreign land and it was safe, familiar and helpful for them to commune with each other as they started travelling to different parts of the world.
Familiarity. Many of them formed community with people they already knew or knew of from their home countries/cities/towns. Many of them grew up together, emigrated together and therefore it made sense and was natural for them to commune with those they already knew.

These features are missing for first- and second-generation and we are becoming increasingly dispersed as we move for careers, love and life. For those in Europe, the UK and USA that are economic migrants like our parents were, we are often not moving with the same economic pressures that are parents did. Unlike many of our relatives across Africa and the Caribbean, we also have the safety net of being able to go back ‘home’12 if our move doesn’t work out. What does that do to our subconscious? How does that impact how we commune (or not) with others?

Additionally, many of us grow up and move from ethnically and culturally mixed environments in a way that our parents did not so we may not have that same inclination to only mingle with ourselves as it were. Many in our parents’ generation moved around the same age, around the same time and to the same cities. In 2025, I think it’s fair to say that even our emigration has become individualised3. When this is our experience - not a positive or negative one, just is - what is the driving force for the Black diaspora to form community like our parents?

Now

I’m constantly going back and forth on this topic and I’ve currently landed at the conclusion that we cannot form community like our parents did because the society and culture we’re living in is fundamentally different. I think a large reason - but not the sole reason - is the role that technology and social media play in allowing people quicker access to each other4 and the (perceived) knowledge of what it is like to live in different parts of the world.5

Perhaps what we are actually searching for is a micro-community, or if not micro- then at least smaller communities that are built on very specific similarities and shared interests. As a member of the Black diaspora, it’s possible that I’d have more in common with someone who grew up in Sweden than someone who grew up in London but whose priorities, interests and worldview are completely antithetical to mine.

Then there’s the threatening role that convenience plays in forming community underpinned by capitalism (in my opinion). In a city like London, I think of the displacement that many people have gone through as a result of gentrification which means that people are further away from the people they love, I think of the widening gap between salaries and cost of living, I think about how many people are unable to live on their own even as they age, I think about how this means it’s increasingly harder to gather and I conclude that are ability to form community is currently capped by capitalism. This has been my standard train of thought. However, I’ve been challenging myself recently. Did our parents not also emigrate to an individualistic capitalist society with less economic capital than us? Inflation is real and every day my algorithm is shoving a video in my face about a recession indicator (it’s annoying now - we get it!) but every now and then I think creating community and lifelong memories must outweigh the apathy, fear and financial anxiety that is exacerbated by our current socio-political environment. We are not the first to live through something like this and we will not be the last. Sometimes we need to simply admit we are making excuses.

It’s convenient to not host (who wants to spend money on food and drink). It’s convenient to not travel 45-90 minutes to see your friend. It’s convenient to not cook for 10 people. It’s convenient to stay on your couch all day. It’s convenient to not have something derail your day that you’ve scheduled to the minute. It’s convenient to not have friend after friend stay at your house when they’re in town…and I get it. Please remember, 9 times out of 10 I’m holding myself accountable when I write these newsletters.

However, we all need to really be honest with ourselves and ask yourself ‘is it possible that you’re just not the community-minded person you think you are?’ and accept that as a result life will reflect the surface-level connections and community that we build. However, if you do this exercise and land where I did which is, I am a community-minded person then I invite you in to challenge yourself to actually show up. Start small. Maybe one friend who you have a weekly phone call with or more regular Whatsapps with. Once every three months host friends. Maybe you even celebrate your birthday with your friends and family instead of running off to a different country. The truth is that we can’t have it both ways. If we want the community we desire, we have to put the effort in. My caveat is that community is only as strong as those who reciprocate our efforts and yes there may be disappointment but trust me, you will be pleasantly surprised at who has been wanting to lean in just as much as you.

So how does this all connect back to Black diaspora community you ask me when not all of us have the privilege of flying to different countries and building community across borders. I think I’m saying start where you are. Schedule that weekly 30-minute call. Start with your friend that moved abroad. Visit when you can. Meet their friends. Go to that event in your neighbourhood or your city. Meet new people. Lean in and see what opportunities arise as a result. Then lean into spaces that facilitate that cross-border connection because they will come6.

Now what does this mean for THE BRITICO? Well the immediate next step is for me to focus on getting my next event off the ground (if you have venue recommendations please let me know!). As well as create more conversation for people who are engaging with this platform. I don’t only want you to connect with me, I want you to be able to connect with each other!

p.s. I didn’t even touch on Pan-Africanism and how it was an early example of the Black diaspora building relationship across borders!

I hope you enjoyed reading this newsletter as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you did, I ask you to please share with people you think may be interested and comment with your thoughts and reflections. I invite agreement, I invite challenge, I invite anything that adds to this discussion.